Invasion of the Idiot Dog Brain (Transcript)
Invasion of the Idiot Dog Brain The Massive hovers above a planet along with some other ships from the Irken fleet. On the main deck, a transmission from Zim plays on a large monitor. Zim: There were some glitches in the security system, but thanks to my masterful repair skills, they've all been eradicated. A small child walks behind Zim on the transmission. Zim: The fortress is now impenetrable, absolutely— Purple: Um, who's that little person behind you? Zim: What the-!?! Zim turns around. The child's mother walks in view. Mother: There you are! What did I tell you about wandering off like that? Come on! Small Child: I missed you, mommy! The mother and her child walk away. Purple: I'm glad it had a happy ending after all. Red '(''In argeement): Me too. 'Zim '(Embarrassed): Waaah, I'll call you back later! Zim presses a button and his picture of a green monkey lowers down over the transmission screen he was using to contact the Tallest. Zim walks over to where GIR sits on the floor, in disguise, watching a commercial for the Krazy Taco fast food restaurant. '''Zim: GIR, we're going down into the main system core. This much trouble with the security can only mean a defective artificial intelligence brain. I'll have to replace it. GIR: Tacos! Zim: Just come on. GIR jumps into the air, removing his disguise mid-air. He follows Zim into the kitchen. Down below in the main system core, Zim and GIR emerge out of an elevator. They stand on a hover platform which lowers them into the next level. They walk over to a beam of energy coming out of two tubes and going through a sphere. Zim: Okay, your part is simple, GIR. You just monitor the download conduit while I replace the old AI brain with this new one. A mechanical arm extends from Zim's Irken utility pack with the replacement AI brain attached to it. Zim grabs the brain from the mechanical arm, which retracts back into his utility pack. GIR: Taco taco taco! Zim: All you have to do is watch the data beam for any fluctuations, until the download of the new program is complete. GIR wiggles his tongue around. Zim sighs. Zim: Pretend it's a taco! GIR: Yes sir! GIR's eyes, shoulder joints, and chest plate turn red. He salutes Zim and looks at the data beam. Zim: If there are any changes in the data... (sigh) taco beam, just let me know. Zim jumps into a floorless, anti-gravity area of the main system core and floats over to a small station where the AI brain is. GIR continues watching the data beam. All the red on him turns back to its normal color. His antennae retracts and the top of his head opens up. He sticks an arm inside and pulls out a squeaky toy moose. GIR's head closes back up and his antennae reemerges. He squeezes the moose toy several times and then giggles. Zim removes the AI brain and a control panel displays a countdown starting with 10. GIR continues squeezing the moose toy, but it slides out of his hand and over the data beam. Zim holds the new AI brain over his head. Zim: Alright, GIR! I'm about to install the new brain! GIR leans over, trying to grab the moose toy, his head inside the data beam. Zim sticks the new AI brain in the slot where the old one was and presses a few buttons, as the countdown reaches 0. Beams of light shoot from the AI brain and electricity is charged from tubes throughout the main system core. The electricity reaches GIR's head at the data beam as he tries to grab the toy moose and the beams break. Zim screams as electricity shoots from the AI brain. Zim jumps as the AI brain explodes. Zim lands on the platform near GIR who stands motionless. GIR's eyes are black and his shoulder joints, antennae tip and chest plate are gray. Zim: GIR! What did you do? Sleeping!?! All you had to do was just... GIR? Zim pokes GIR in the back of the head. GIR falls over. Zim: Broken. Can you hear me? Oh, I'll have to go upstairs and get another brain for the house and then I'll fix you. Zim picks GIR up and carries him over to the hover platform. It lifts them up into the next level and they approach an elevator. Zim: Elevator, take me to the storage level. The computer makes a whirring noise. Zim: Elevator, I said— GIR's Voice: Saaaay pleeeease! Zim: GIR, quit messing around. We have to get the house's computer back online before— GIR's Voice Where's my moose?: Zim: Wait a minute, you're in the house's computer? GIR's Voice: Uh huh. Zim: You're the new brain? GIR's Voice: I guess so. Zim: GIR! Get out of there right now and back into your own body! Zim throws GIR's lifeless body onto the floor. GIR's Voice: Okay, sheesh, lemme see, hmmm... GIR grunts a couple of times. GIR's Voice: I can't. Zim: Hmmm... The data conduit is damaged. You're trapped in there until we can repair it. GIR's Voice: Ooooh! GIR controls a robotic arm and makes it squeeze his toy moose as he giggles. Zim: GIR! We need to concentrate here! As we speak our defenses— GIR's Voice: Boring! The robotic arm drops the moose toy. GIR's voice: Oooooh! The robotic arm goes over to Zim and grabs him, lifting the poor Irken off the ground. Zim groans as the robotic arm squeezes him several times. Zim: GIR, what are you doing!?! Put me down, GIR! Wah, stop! Oh, ow, my organ! (Makes a fart noise) GIR giggles. Zim grunts as he forces his way out of the claw's grip. He backs up towards the elevator, but more and more robotic arms emerge. Zim pries the elevator open and squeezes his way in. The door clamps back shut behind him. Inside the elevator, GIR's voice is heard singing along to elevator music. Zim presses up against the wall, breathing heavily. Zim: Now take me to the equipment room, GIR! Equipment room! Now, GIR! GIR's Voice: Do a little dance! Zim: No, GIR! No dance! Just obey me! GIR's Voice: Daaance! A compartment on the ceiling of Zim's elevator opens, revealing a speaker playing elevator music. GIR goes back to singing along with the elevator music. Zim: No! Zim puts his hands to where his ears would be. Zim: GIR! Zim disdainfully starts dancing and sings along with GIR's voice. GIR's Voice: Yay! Now we go up! Zim screams as he is pushed up against the floor when the elevator rises at a higher speed. Zim is launched out of the toilet in his kitchen and into the ceiling. He falls back down and hits his head on the toilet. Zim: GIR, you sent the elevator up too far! I'm up in the house, I needed to go to the equipment room! GIR's Voice: Wooah, what's this do!?! Out of the wall, a blender emerges attached to a robotic arm. The blender turns on. The oven bounces around, opening and closing. GIR's Voice: I'm gonna make toast! Out of the floor, a toaster attached to a mechanical arm lifts up and aims at Zim. It launches two pieces of toast at him, which bounce off his face. Zim: GIR! I am ordering you to take me to the equipment room! GIR makes all the appliances in the kitchen open and close. GIR's Voice: Aw, don't be sad, master. I know what'll make you feel better. Zim: It would make me feel better to have this house back to normal! And to have you listen to me for once! GIR's voice: Uh huh... But how about some of this? A bunch of hovering monitor screen playing old cartoons and other stuff swarm Zim. Zim: He's got to run himself out eventually. I'll just wait. I can outlast him. The words "ONE YEAR LATER" appear on screen. Zim stands in his living room, with all of the hovering monitor screens around him along with the mechanical arms. In the kitchen, the appliances are still opening and closing. Zim's eye twitches. Zim screams. Zim: The madness! The madness! GIR, let me down bellow so that I can make everything normal again! One hovering monitor screen shows a commercial for the Krazy Taco fast food restaurant, depicting a man dressed in a taco suit. GIR's Voice: Tacos! Krazy Taco Man: So take it from me, the Krazy Taco! You won't find a crazier taco then the ones you'll find at the Krazy Taco! Remember, our Drive-Thru's open the whole niiight! Sweet jumpin' chili bean I'm crazy! The hovering monitors float away, including one that playing the Scary Monkey Show (with the Scary Monkey picking its nose). GIR's voice: Must obey the taco man! The house starts shaking. Zim: What's happening!?! What is this!?! GIR's voice: Taaaacooos! Zim walks over to the front window and sees mechanical tentacles burst out of the lawn. The satellite on the top of the house folds up and retracts. The house moves back and forth, pulling on the mechanical tentacles attached to the neighboring houses. The mechanical tentacles retract from a neighbor's room where a neighbor sits on a chair watching TV who was previously seen in the first episode. The house spreads apart into two sections and then lists up, revealing robotic legs. The house now has a vague dog shape as it breaks away from some mechanical tentacles linking it to the ground. The house walks into the center of the street and then shakes off mud. The mud completely covers some pedestrians, including a man walking his spooky Chihuahua. Zim screams and falls backwards. GIR cheers as he makes the house run along the street. It knocks a tree down as it runs by. Zim screams and then crawls back to the window. Zim (speaking with an accent): Great jumpin' chili bean! GIR's Voice: I'M GONNA GET ME SOME Of THESE TACOS! Zim: GIR, you have to go back! The base is exposed! You'll blow our cover! Turn back while we're still unnoticed! Zim screams as he rolls backwards into the kitchen. He gets up and goes to a window in the kitchen. He sees the GIR house jump through a house that is for sale (which is rumored to be Jhonen Vasquez's house). Cut to a man in a telephone booth talking to someone about his new car, which is parked right outside the booth. Man: Yeah, I just got it and man do I love it! I'm gonna drive all night and then I'm gonna keep on driving until it's night some more! Oh yeah! GIR's squeals can be heard. Suddenly, the foot of the GIR house crashes down on the new car, destroying it. The man in the phone booth keeps his cool and dials another number. Man: Police! I'd like to report a... giant house that flew out of the sky and destroyed my car! Okay, thank you! The man hangs up, smiling. He stands there for a moment, then bursts out screaming and flails his arms wildly. A large black cop and a skinny lobotomized cop drive in a cop car when they get a report on the radio. Police Radio: Be on the look out for a giant mobile home rampaging through the downtown area. Large Cop: Can mobile homes rampage? Lobotomized Cop: Must be one of them new ones! As the cop car drives off, behind them the GIR house runs by followed by a trail of cops. Zim: I don't think you understand how serious this is! Tacos are not worth ruining the mission. I am your master, and you will obey me! OBEY MEE! Zim gets down on his knees. Zim: Pleeease? The GIR house stops. GIR's Voice: Maybe you're right. Maybe I'll get a giant burrito too. The GIR house starts running again. A gas truck swerves out of the way but the GIR house leaps on top of it, crushing it and letting gasoline spill into the streets. The GIR house stands on its hind legs and waves its fore legs in the air. GIR's Voice: BUUUURRRRIIIITTOOO! The GIR house leaps away, causing a lamp to fall from a lamp post in the street. It hits the ground and sets the gasoline on fire, creating a large explosion as the cops pull up to it. Officer Pambrey emerges from one of the cop cars and the flames reflect from his glasses. He removes his glasses. Officer Pambrey: Get him! Cut to the Krazy Taco fast food restaurant. In the kitchen of the restaurant, an employee pulls a hand full of fries out of a bin he just dipped in hot grease. He sticks the hand full of fries into his mouth, which heats up his face. An employee tosses a freshly made taco into a laundry shoot type fixture. An employee at the counter puts the taco on a tray and serves it to a customer. The customer sniffs it and groans. Another employee takes orders from the drive through with a pair of headphones. Zim can be heard screaming at GIR in the background. Employee: Thanks for coming to Krazy Taco, may I take your order please? Sir, that's two large tacos, a burrito and a medium GIR, take us back to the base right now, do you want a drink with that? Zim: I am your master! GIR! Take us back! GIR! Zim continues yelling orders as the GIR house leans its head towards the speaker. GIR's Voice: What kinda drinks ya got? Employee: We got new poop, classic poop, diet poop, cherry poop and salty lemonade. GIR's Voice: Gimme a large classic poop. Zim groans as he hears police sirens. He peers out of the window and sees cop cars approaching. Employee: Pick up your order at the first window. The first window has a taco shell covering over it. The GIR house crouches down to fit under it and crawls along, but it ends up breaking the shell. The employee holds their order in a bag outside tge window and into the window of the GIR house. Employee: Here you go, sir. GIR's voice: I love the little tacos. I love them good. Zim, who has been out of disguise the whole time, grabs the bag containing GIR's order. Employee: Have a nice day. Zim pulls out a wad of cash. Zim: Shut your noise tube, taco human! He throws the cash in the employee's face, but the employee doesn't react at all. Zim: GIR. GIR's Voice: Yes master? Zim: GIR, I have your tacos! GIR's Voice Gimme! The employee places GIR's soda on the window ledge. Zim: No, GIR. The employee slowly lowers from the window. GIR's Voice: But I neeeeed tacos! I need them or I will explode! That happens to me sometimes! Zim: I will give you tacos! Oh, such tacos will I give! But you have to take us back to the base! They're only getting colder, GIR! Some cop cars pull up, then a heap load more pull up behind them. From the back of the GIR house, jets emerge. GIR squeals as he hops into the pileup of cop cars, sending them flying. Officer Pambrey maneuvers his way around in his cop car and chases after the GIR house. The GIR house leaps over the City Center Mall, but the few cop cars that are chasing it crash into the front of the mall, knocking off some letters. A lot of the neighborhood houses are wrecked and smoking as the GIR house walks over to its spot. It folds back into a house and reconnects to the mechanical tentacles in the ground. It sends its own mechanical tentacles back into the neighboring houses. The neighbor seen earlier is hammering a plank of wood onto the spot where the tentacles came through, but the tentacles burst through the plank of wood and knock him to the floor. The satellite reemerges from the house and unfolds. On the inside of the house, GIR controls a mechanical arm making it bang a taco against the walls as he groans. GIR's Voice: Where's my mouth!?! Zim: Are you going to cooperate, GIR? It's time we fixed all of this mess and got you back to normal! GIR's Voice: Okey dokey. The mechanical arm goes over to Zim and hands him the taco. Zim: Thank you, GIR! Now, take me to the equipment room! The floor under Zim lowers. Cut to the Massive, where the Almighty Tallest receive another transmission from Zim. Zim: There were a few problems, some glitches here and there, but despite these minor mishaps, everything is normal again. GIR sits in the background, out of disguise, wearing a Krazy Taco hat and eating a taco. Zim: If possible, things are even more normal now than they ever were. GIR moves off screen. Cut to the neighbor's house, where the neighbor sits in his chair with a mechanical tentacle latched to his forehead. It unlatches then speeds at the camera. Category:Episode Transcripts